an excess of you
by found dove in a soapless place
Summary: [Juvia-centric]. There's no mistaking it. You're staring at yourself, from two thousand mistakes ago.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL.**

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**An Excess Of You**

"_There's no mistaking it. You're staring at yourself, from two thousand mistakes ago."_

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Your eyes flutter open at the feel of something wet touching your cheek. Your first thought is tears, but then the rain starts to fall in an all too familiar way. You haven't seen the sky this dark in years. Your body is heavy and aching, and it feels like the mud is about to swallow you whole. You manage to push yourself up digging your elbows into the ground, even though it feels like someone's just poured molten aluminum into your veins.

The forest is dark and silent, except for the drip drop, drip drop hitting the floor. You can't shake the feeling that you've been there before. You trudge through the clearest path, and the grime coating your hair trickles down from your forehead to the tip of your nose.

Suddenly you hear shouting. Battle worn as you are, your first instinct is to hide behind a tree and cage the ragged gasps clawing to escape your throat. As you prepare to defend yourself, your eyes latch onto the stump across you. It has metal shrapnels lodged into almost every inch of it, and your stomach lurches as you realize where you are. You swore to yourself so long ago that you would never come back, and here you are.

A voice brings you back, and the hairs on your skin prickle when you recognize whose it is and which words it encapsulates.

"Would you stop following me already? Geez," a purple haired man groans in frustration. "We've been done since five minutes ago."

"But Bora-sama, please, can't we just talk about this?" the girl trailing behind him pleads. She is fifteen years old, and you know this for a fact. You watch her grab onto his cloak in desperation, watch him tug it coldly out of her grasp.

"There is nothing more to talk about," he says, and it makes your blood boil because he doesn't have to be so harsh.

The girl sounds like she is about to cry, but you know she won't –at least, not visibly; not how everyone else does. "But Juvia doesn't know what she's done wrong!"

The man stops in his tracks and turns to face her, for the first time. He sticks his hand out of the shield of his umbrella and his sleeve his soaked within seconds.

"I hate the rain. It's gloomy," he says callously, and it had taken you years, but you had finally realized that everything he did to hurt you, he did on purpose.

You've forgotten you're supposed to be hiding. You've drifted out from behind the tree to watch the scene unfold unobscured, but they don't seem to see you so it doesn't really matter.

Her voice trembles when she speaks. "But Juvia l-loves you. And, and, you told Juvia that you love her. And you promised Juvia that you would never leave her. Were you lying?"

He makes a face. Damn it all to hell, he is so ugly you want to punch him. "Big deal. It's not like you haven't done it. You promised me you would get me into Phantom Lord, and look where I am. Still in Nose Ring," he says bitterly.

"Juvia tried! Juvia asked Master Jose again and again, did multiple tasks just so he might consider, but he said that you haven't done anything to prove yourself worthy to him."

"Oh, is that what you think? That I'm not good enough?" he snarls, and he raises his voice when she tries to protest. "Well let me tell you something, Ameonna. You're the one who isn't good enough. You have no friends, you have no talent –hell, I bet the only reason you're in the Element 4 is to complete the set. No one is ever going to love you." With that, he smirks and turns to walk away.

You watch the girl grow very still. Her eyes darken and her expression of desolation suddenly crumples into scorn. She loses her grip on her frilly pink parasol, and she is drenched in her own tears before it hits the ground. You know what is going to happen next, and you can't help yourself from running towards her.

She creates a wheel of water spinning in the air, and sends it hurtling towards him. It is so fast, so sharp that it could probably cut him in half. You're screaming from the top of your lungs, telling her to stop, that his blood isn't worth soiling her hands with.

Bora sees it too, and his eyes widen in fear. He starts running, but slips in the mud. He is left to stare at her blade descending closer to him, and he is begging for mercy for his pathetic life.

You reach out and wrap your arms around her from behind, sobbing into her hair to please, please for the both of you, not to do it. And even if you are thoroughly convinced that she cannot hear you, she seems to catch herself and tenses. Her wheel of death stops just above his head, slicing off the strands of his hair that stood up. His eyes are still screwed shut and his mouth still quivers like a crying child. The wheel suddenly loses form and splashes onto him harmlessly.

You and her watch him cough violently before sputtering, "Monster!" and taking off as fast as his legs can carry him. Your first reaction is to snicker at tell him, that's right, he should definitely be afraid, but then she doesn't seem to feel the same. Instead, she runs off into the forest, and here's some more proof that you are the same person: she chooses to sink against the very same tree you were hiding behind moments before. She hugs her knees close and cradles her head in her hands. You watch the way her carefully rolled curls unravel into loose waves more like your own. She may be short, slighter, and infinitely paler, but you can tell just by the way she doesn't let anyone see her feel anything. There's no mistaking it.

You're staring at yourself, from two thousand mistakes ago.

You crouch down in front of her, cupping her cheeks in your hands and trying to wipe away her tears. You press your lips against her forehead before holding her close. This is a girl who has never seen the sun, never felt its warmth, and you know so, so damn well how painful it is to be told and proven right again and again that you will never be loved.

"Juvia knows, " you whisper, and your voice is cracking just as the time bomb in your chest, "that it feels like the end of the world. Juvia knows you feel like he's right, and that you aren't good enough, that you're a failure and nobody loves you. Well, he's wrong."

"He's right," she mumbles to herself. "Juvia is a horrible person who does horrible things, and she's going to be alone forever."

Your grip on her tightens. "There's so much that's going to happen so soon. Juvia is so excited for you. You're going to meet the most wonderful people in the world. You're going to see the world, and you're going to do things you never thought you could before. You're going to save lives, and you're going to make history. You're going to be important."

"You're going to make friends who will be there for you no matter what. You will treasure them. You're going to fall in love, and he's the most beautiful, most perfect person in the world. And you will be loved –so, so unbelievably blessed with people who love you for who you are. But you know what the best part is?" you say, giving her a watery smile. "You're going to learn to love yourself. Juvia promises. You just need to wait a little while longer, and believe that one day, things are going to change for the better."

You look up at the sky, and revel in the cold water splashing against your skin. "After a while, you learn that they always do."

Suddenly the leaves behind you rustle and you feel your body get tense, but she's too busy drowning in her sadness to be aware of her surroundings. You turn around and your eyes soften with nostalgia.

"Oi, who tha' fuck is there, this is my fucking training spot and I'm gonna beat tha' shit outta you if you even think of –tha' fuck you doin' here, Ameonna?" a tall, burly man says crassly, gnawing on a piece of metal as he talks.

She wipes her nose on the back of her sleeve before getting up. "Nothing. Juvia is sorry for intruding on your territory. She will be going now."

Gajeel Redfox gives her a quizzical stare. Even at fifteen, you were never afraid of him and his blood red eyes and boltlike piercings, as so many others were (are).

He grabs onto her wrist and she turns suddenly. "Were ya fucking crying, Ameonna?" he asks almost tauntingly.

"How dare you! Do you take me for some kind of weakling?" she seethes venomously, lying through her teeth.

You feel the butterflies in your stomach when he grins at her and says, "'Course not. You're a bitch, ain't ya? And I'm gonna have fun kicking your ass right now." He gets into his fighting stance, and you see the wheels turning in her head as she realizes, maybe this is what she needs right now. The corners of her mouth twitch upwards as she gets into position.

The two engage head on into a grappling match, and for a fraction of a few moments, he places her in a headlock and whispers in her ear so softly that you wouldn't know what he says unless you yourself had heard it years ago.

"You're going to be okay, Juvia. So don't let you, or fucking anyone else think otherwise." The match continues when she pushes him away and traps him in a bubble of water. His arm suddenly starts turning into metal and elongating before punching her in the gut. Neither of them notice the rain beginning to stop.

And you lean against that tree with a smile on your face, remembering that the first day a boy broke your heart was also the day you made your first friend.

"You're going to be okay," you say. Of that, you are one hundred percent sure. You close your eyes and feel yourself drifting off, light as a feather.

There's something dripping down onto your cheeks again. It feels warm, and when it seeps into your mouth through the side of your lips, it tastes vaguely salty.

"You're going to be okay, Juvia. I promise. I'm not going to let anything happen to you," you hear your husband's voice, and there's a sudden rush of comfort that washes over you.

The next thing you register is a steady beeping noise, and then a few other voices you don't recognize.

"Her vital signs seem to have stabilized, but we don't know for sure how long it's going to be until she wakes up."

"There has to be something you can do," your Gray-sama pleads, and your consciousness starts racing towards your body, just so you can tell him that you're fine and that he should stop worrying.

"It's all up to her now. The best we can do is believe she's going to make it."

You are not about to let him down.

You will your body to fall back under your command one step at a time. First by the twitch of your fingers, then a deep breath, before finally forcing your eyes to open halfway. No matter how it may feel like every inch of your body is chained to an anchor sinking further into the floor, you have to let him know that you're back, and you're never going to leave him.

"Gray-sama," you say faintly, but it's enough to catch his attention. You say it again, and again, like a mantra that feels you with enough energy to fight back. He's by your side in an instant, clasping onto your hand like it's his life hanging by a thread.

"Juvia," he says tenderly, before leaning over and claiming your lips. Mother of flying magical sparkle fucks, you've been together for four years and his kisses still make your toes curl and your body melt.

Just when you're starting to think yeah, you could stay like that forever and it would be completely fine with you, you hear a pointed "Ehem," from the nurse in the background in the background. Your eyes zero in on the blue bundle in her arms and your eyes begin to fill with tears.

"Hold on, Juvia. There's someone I want you to meet," Gray tells you, giving you a quick but loving peck on the forehead before taking the bundle for the nurse.

"Hey, little guy. Meet your mom. Now, she's a fighter, kid. She went to hell and back to get you here, and don't you dare ever forget it."

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Please feel free to tell me whatever you thought about this in a review! It would be very helpful, and I'd love to hear from you!


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